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This article was originally given as a speech to a local community
group. If it sounds like there aren't any sicknesses
or disabilities involved that is basically the point.
Almost 20 years ago I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis,
the relapsing-remitting kind. I never thought I would
be able to do any of these things again…or at all.
The Age of Discovery, is it 4 or is it 50?
I am a software developer…the typical one that you've all heard
about. You know, the one that works 16 hours a day 6 and a half
days a week. And when they have free time they play computer games.
The more hardcore developers hide out in their attics creating new
computer games! They never really meet or talk to anyone. I was
a confirmed bachelor…with no thought of ever having kids.
But then…I found someone and got married 5 years ago. Inherited
a great stepson who is now 27, married, and has a 10-month-old daughter.
He got married 5 months after his mom and I did and immediately
moved to Maryland (to our chagrin!).
My wife and I also have a son who has amazing energy and inquisitiveness.
We don't know where he gets it. Before he was born she also was
a software developer.
Sam is 4 now, absorbing all he can about everything. And I have
been experiencing more things since I was a kid! Certainly this
once confirmed bachelor has done the diaper changes, the feedings,
and the baths. But there was more to come with this little guy!
So what is the Age of Discovery? Is it 4? Or is it 50?
From early on Sam has had a love affair with horses. This was a
surprise. I spent my early years on a farm doing all the horse things:
cleaning stalls, feeding them, exercising them but I stopped when
I got older and by the time he discovered them I hadn't even seen
a live one really in almost 30 years. We started out small, riding
all the carousels we could find. And yes, I always sat on the one
next to him. But then he found live horses and that was it! He goes
to all the pony rides. He has even been taking lessons. And dad?
They have a Clydesdale at the farm Sam rides at. You know, the really
big horses? Apparently I will be riding that one soon.
From the horses, it has been a short jump to street fairs and amusement
parks. We go on all the kiddy rides we can. I'm even back on roller
coasters…always loved the old wooden ones I rode as a kid! For Father's
Day Sam took me to Canobie Lake Amusement Park in New Hampshire.
We were there for almost 7 hours going on as many rides as we could,
eating all the pretzels, and hot dogs, and cotton candy and…oh my
stomach!
And then there is swimming. Sam has been in the water since he
was 6 months old. I gave it up when I was a teenager. This year
Sam started insisting that I swim with him. So 3 times a week we
swim. We've been diving, and splashing, and racing each other across
the pool. I'm finding that I still know all the strokes…and muscles
that I had forgotten I had!
My mantra had always been, why walk when you can drive! Going to
a friend's house two streets away? Drive! Running down to the corner
store? Nah…drive! But when Sam learned how to crawl, we could never
catch him!! Now that he knows how to walk, he is always on the go…and
so am I! Sam and I were walking around the neighborhood several
times a day. We walked down to the local school to do laps around
the track. I even went through several pedometers just to find out
how much exercise I have been getting. Exercise…dirty word in my
old house but then I lived alone for years before getting married.
Uh oh, then Sam and I graduated into major walking…we discovered
hiking! You can always find us heading off to one of the walking
trails. We will hike for 2-3 hours at a time. We check out the boardwalk
that runs through the bog at Ward Hill looking for snakes before
climbing up to the fire tower. We particularly like the tumbled
down house part way up; Sam always wants to know why the chimney
is on its side, and where did the walls go. Sometimes we head out
to Weir Hill, following the paths out and around to the back of
Stephen's Pond before climbing to the top of the hill to check out
the view…and if we are lucky, a sunset.
Sam loves to meet people whether it's on our hikes or in town.
He is very gregarious and seems to have a goal to meet everyone
in Massachusetts. He will walk up to anyone and say "Hi, my name
is Sam, and I'm strong, I can lift the world!" Some of you may have
met him. Me? I am going to be like him! "Hi, I'm Daddy, I can lift
the world!" [Appropriate muscle flexing!]
With my son's help I have discovered that life is an exciting learning
process. Five years ago you would have met a recluse that worked
too much. Today, you are meeting someone that likes to have fun!
So what is the Age of Discovery? [Smirk] It's 4!!! And when I get
to be 5 I'll tell you about everything else I've learned!
Now what is the point? If you have a disability,
accept that you have it and move on. Someone once told me "there
are no problems just issues to be resolved". Is this all I have
done with my son? No, we have been on helicopters and small planes.
We have taken on the scariest rides at amusement parks. My son wants
to be Steve
Irwin, Crocodile Hunter and I will be working with him to
reach his goal.
What are YOUR dreams and goals? Are you going to let your disability
or disease stop you from reaching them? If you are, at least read
"The Last
Lecture" by Randy Pausch. He was a professor at Carnegie
Mellon University who died on July 25th, 2008 after battling pancreatic
cancer. Even at the end he was still exuberantly working
on his goals (one of which was to beat the cancer).
We can all hide out and be miserable or we can get out there, accept
our "issue" and enjoy life!
I plan on dancing at my son's wedding, how about you?
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