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I watch as my son’s eyes glaze over and I know that for a little
while at least I have lost him to the splendor of his world. My
son suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome and it has taken us as parents
a long time to accept that there are certain things that my son
does that we will never really understand.
When he travels around the house doing what the doctors call “stiming”
he looks at us like we are the strange ones that don’t do this that
we don not require such activities in order to survive. “Stiming”
is self-stimulation, which can be opening and closing the window
blinds for extended periods of time, watching the tap drip or carrying
around a shoe. In my son’s case it is flicking a soft cloth right
in front of his eyes, which is visual stimulation. Sometimes it
calms him and other times it gets him all excited but it is as necessary
to his existence as air is. When he is stiming he leaves our world
and goes into his. I’ve asked him what makes his different and he
says in his world he is popular, understood and feels happy. It
saddens me that this world cannot offer that to him.
I knew that there was something wrong at a very early age but it
took me years to convince the doctors. I was just another mother
over reacting to what was perfectly normal. As an infant he was
colic and it wasn’t only at certain times it was 24hrs a day. The
first time I slept through the night was when I purchased a jolly
jumper for him and he basically jumped himself to sleep. I curled
up around the bottom of him and we stayed there for 5 hrs. To this
day sleeping is still a big problem for him. As my son grew there
was more and more strange behavior. He never played with toys or
with other children for that matter. He walked on his tiptoe never
flat foot. He was always flapping his hands and would spend long
hours playing with a pen that made a clicking noise. If he became
overly agitated I would put on high-heeled shoes and the clicking
sound of the heels on the floor would calm him. As long as he was
awake he was either rocking or bouncing. We had to put his high
chair up against a wall so he wouldn’t tip it over he rocked so
hard. Once my son reached the age of 4 his behavior turned aggressive
and out of control. It was a nightmare of hospitals and doctors
and he became a guinea pig for various medications. Over the course
of a few years he was diagnosed with various disorders such as Attention
Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), tourette syndrome, obsessive
compulsive disorder and Non Verbal Learning Disability (NLD). Finally
at the age of 9 he was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.
Asperger’s Syndrome is part of a sub group which is part of a much
larger category called Autistic Spectrum Disorders or Pervasive
Developmental Disorders (PDD). Asperger’s Syndrome (or Asperger’s
Disorder) is a developmental, neurological disorder characterized
by severe impairment in social development, obsessive traits causing
repetitive patterns of behavior and very narrow and focused interests.
They are usually very clumsy and have awkward movements. Unlike
with Autism, children with Asperger’s show no delays in the development
of language skills. Once we actually knew what was wrong with my
son a whole new avenue of opportunity opened up for us. As a mother
the first thing I did was research. I spent hours with my nose in
a book or staring at the computer screen. The one piece of hope
that I found in almost all of my research was that with treatment
children with Asperger’s can grow up to have fulfilling lives as
adults. Of course the earlier they receive treatment the higher
the rate of success but my son only started receiving real treatment
when he was 11 and we have still seen great improvement.
I know from personal experience that the frustration of trying
to find out what is wrong with your child is at a level that only
parents who have gone or are going through can understand. It seems
like the world is against you as doctors treat you as nothing but
paranoid parents looking for a reason to excuse their bad parenting.
Of course that is where the blame will always be placed by others…that
as parents it is YOUR fault. There is no blame when it comes to
Asperger’s or any other PDD disorder. There has been some research
that shows a possible genetic connection but that is still not an
excuse for blame. If I could offer any advice it would be to never
give up. If one doctor won’t help you find another and do research
especially on-line. There is excellent advice, support and resources
to help you help your child. Saying that you need to mourn for your
child probably sounds ridiculous because you have not lost him or
her. I advise the mourning as a way of dealing with the fact that
that perfect child you always dreamed of having who would be so
popular and a star athlete just is not going to happen. That is
not to say your child will not accomplish great things but it may
not be in the way you had hoped. Once you accept who your child
is you will be much better equipped to help him focus on all the
special qualities he has. It will never be easy but with treatment
programs and a lot of love, the life of an Asperger’s child can
be one of great joy and fulfillment for him and you the parents
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Cass Hope is the Mother of a 13 year old child
with Asperger's Syndrome. She is actively involved in programs to
help increase public awareness of Asperger's Syndrome. For more
information and the latest news on Asperger's and related disorders
visit: http://www.aspergers-online.info
Article Source: ArticlesFactory.com:
Where My Son Lives
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